Up the Sunbeam

-- I came very close to titling this post "Never Skip a Bible Verse," but I think I'll ask you to think of that as the subtitle instead. There are verses in the Bible that we are all tempted to skip entirely, or at the very least we skim over them, considering them to be the verses to move past to get to the good stuff. I think of certain long passages of Leviticus outlining laws that seem persnickety and far removed from our 21st Century life,  or long ago census records that list the names of the Twelve Tribes of Israel and the numbers of people in each one,  or genealogies filled with generations of names we can't pronounce (they used to be called "the begats"--anyone old enough to remember that?) What about this one? " James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,    To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:    Greetings." James 1:1 NIV At first glance, this verse may seem merely a polite introduction, a salutation...

-- After decades of not getting it, (I mean completely obtuse, dumb-as-a-post not getting it), finally the combination is entered, the tumblers have rotated into alignment and the lock is open!! Welcome to my epiphany! I have been asking God for most of my adult life to give me a way to understand trials and suffering in the lives of His children that would allow me to really, actually, truthfully, from-the-inside-out, see them in a positive light.  I just could never get all the way there. I always believed that God brings good out of things the enemy intends for evil, but I NEVER EVER could FEEL anything but dread and sadness and fear when it came to facing trials.   Worry and   fear of what God might allow in order to teach me something have been my long-standing battle. I have learned and wrestled with the truth and I have chosen trust instead of fear, but it has been hard every time.  What I longed for was the kind of understanding that is so int...

In shades of winter white, the buckeye tree waits, hushed and still. It stands outwardly dead and cold in the rain and mist that drapes it in a pale shroud.  A fleeting moment of diffused sunlight touches the almond-colored bark and it brightens coolly. A few tenacious buckeyes cling stubbornly to the tree, not ready to fall . . . not just yet. The buckeye tree speaks to me in the days leading up to the turn of the calendar that drops the final leaves and buckeyes on the old year. 2010 has been more than I ever expected . . . and less. It has been MORE . . . . . . busy, . . . rewarding, . . . painful, . . . terrifying, . . . trying, . . . victorious, . . . grace-infused, . . . celebratory, . . . people-full . . . and love-soaked than I knew it would be. It has been LESS . . . . . . plentiful, . . . complicated, . . . home-bound, . . . sad, . . . distant, . . . tentative, . . . fear-driven than it might have been. I am thankful for all the bad things th...

I wasn't planning to write today, but I am compelled to come out of my extended quiet spell long enough to share a heartfelt moment of brokenness and love . . . and hope. On this bright, glorious Sunday, I did not feel like going to church. I did not feel like offering words of worship or songs of praise. I did not feel like giving or smiling or hugging. Crying or stamping my feet? Maybe! Worship? Not so much. My emotions just would not line up with what I know . . . would not line up with the God I know! Old fears and new developments in our personal economy were warring against the quiet stillness of my trust in God, and it was a raging battle. I had to choose sides--one or the other would have me today and the choice was mine. What I know about God and His character was never shaken--I absolutely know and trust Him to be faithful and loving, kind and compassionate, powerful and present to an infinite degree. But my emotions!!! What loud, bossy, obnoxious things ...