Up the Sunbeam

--  "Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, Tune my heart to sing Thy grace; Streams of mercy, never ceasing, Call for songs of loudest praise." So go the first lines of one of my favorite hymns. It rightly characterizes my Heavenly Father as the "Fount of every blessing." A fountain . . . a  constant, gushing, rushing flow of water under enough pressure to launch it high into the air, making the beautiful arcing patterns we so enjoy watching. What is known, but isn't so easily noticed, is that the flow of a fountain is made up of millions of individual drops, all directed by the design of the fountain. Blessing. I like blessings! Blessings never ceasing? Yes, please! I am so conditioned by my very BLESSED Western culture, and by the desires of my own flesh, to want a constant, gushing, rushing flow of blessings. Whether they be spiritual, physical, financial, emotional, personal, I love to be in a state of obvious blessing. Sometimes, when ch...

-- I arrived in the smaller of the two gyms at my daughter's high school. Thin rubber mats covered the surface of the floor to protect it from the scratchy feet of the long tables that marched in long rows stretching nearly from wall to wall. In this room and several other locations in the school, 700 sophomores were about to file in, pencils and minds at the ready. A couple of other moms and I were there as parent volunteers to help oversee the California High School Exit Exam (CAHSEE). The kids were in a 10 minute morning break between classes and we volunteers took the opportunity to get acquainted. We told our kids' names and ages, talked about how long we'd been at this school, and inquired as to whether any of us had done this before--routine parent volunteer small talk. Just then another mom came in, peering inside to make sure she was in the right place. We assured her she was, and I couldn't help noticing a slight sadness, the almost apologetic expression sh...

-- There are few things as toxic to a relationship as disapproval. Husbands and wives, parents and children, pastors and congregations, employers and employees, teachers and students and among friends--disapproval does damage and leaves wounds that rarely heal on their own.  Stories abound of grown men and women who find themselves crippled in their adult lives because on some level, they are still trying to win the approval of fault-finding, never-satisfied parents, sometimes years, even decades after those parents have been laid to rest. Spirits wither and waste under the harsh, hot glare of disapproval and I pray that as a fallible, imperfect parent, I would not fall into communicating in ways that feel like criticism and disapproval to my children. Human disapproval is bad enough.  What about disapproval from God?  Isn't He always stern and endlessly disapproving, looking with disdain and disgust down a long nose and a longer finger, always pointing out our fai...

The best basketball coach I know teaching She So Sweet the game he loves. Daddy, I hope you know that you’re my hero    My hero, my champion, my coach And every good thing a father should be and rarely is    You have taught me such important things In such creative, memorable ways. Daddy, you’ve always made me feel so wanted    Wanted and beautiful and loved Things every girl should have a chance to feel but seldom does    You always encouraged and believed And somehow you made me believe in me. Daddy, when it was time for me to leave home    Our home, our family, our bit of heaven All the safe, sweet things the world wants and hardly ever sees    You gave me the courage to step out To go find my life and to live it well. Daddy, I hope the way I live makes you proud    Proud and hopeful, and certain That all the things you taught me have settled down and taken root    My life is so much better, rich...

-- Perfect? Nope . . . no perfection in sight, despite my many years of pursuing it. Now what? Should I keep going? Give up? Should I stop pushing buttons and fine-tuning the dials and reconfiguring my settings to get closer to the "perfect mix" that eludes me? I hear that being a perfectionist can be unhealthy. On the other hand, I hear that many of the world's most effective and successful people are, at least to some degree, perfectionists. What to do? What to DO ? Is there anything wrong with the pursuit of perfection? It couldn't be right to be in pursuit of IMperfection, now could it?  After all, it was in His sermon on the mount that Jesus went so far as to say, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."  Matthew 5:48 NIV Whoa!! So not just perfect, but PERFECT . . . like God-caliber PERFECTION!!  And here I thought I was discouraged by trying to be small-p perfect. How in the world?!! What did Jesus mean by that? That w...

Celebrating is the easy part.  Lights, laughter, favorite food and sweet treats, songs that set bells a-jingle and us all warm and tingly with joy, and the Baby in the manger . . . yes, celebrating falls easy into our Christmas lives. It's living Christmas out in the gritty grind that is sometimes very, very hard. I must choose my words wisely to write this, I beg your patience for being deliberately vague about details. I don't WANT to be nice.  I don't WANT to pray for them. Mama Grizzly is growling low and menacing in me and I would like to unleash her to tell them about themselves.  I could have stood it if they had hurt me, but they hurt my cubs, and now are adding insult to injury--the Mama Grizzly crouches, ready to spring, everything in her screaming for the chance to put them in their place! Photo courtesy of freelargephotos.com, Copyright © 2010 David Chudnov All stirred up inside, alone in my living room, I called home to my parents to vent my m...