Up the Sunbeam

-- I arrived in the smaller of the two gyms at my daughter's high school. Thin rubber mats covered the surface of the floor to protect it from the scratchy feet of the long tables that marched in long rows stretching nearly from wall to wall. In this room and several other locations in the school, 700 sophomores were about to file in, pencils and minds at the ready. A couple of other moms and I were there as parent volunteers to help oversee the California High School Exit Exam (CAHSEE). The kids were in a 10 minute morning break between classes and we volunteers took the opportunity to get acquainted. We told our kids' names and ages, talked about how long we'd been at this school, and inquired as to whether any of us had done this before--routine parent volunteer small talk. Just then another mom came in, peering inside to make sure she was in the right place. We assured her she was, and I couldn't help noticing a slight sadness, the almost apologetic expression sh...

-- There are few things as toxic to a relationship as disapproval. Husbands and wives, parents and children, pastors and congregations, employers and employees, teachers and students and among friends--disapproval does damage and leaves wounds that rarely heal on their own.  Stories abound of grown men and women who find themselves crippled in their adult lives because on some level, they are still trying to win the approval of fault-finding, never-satisfied parents, sometimes years, even decades after those parents have been laid to rest. Spirits wither and waste under the harsh, hot glare of disapproval and I pray that as a fallible, imperfect parent, I would not fall into communicating in ways that feel like criticism and disapproval to my children. Human disapproval is bad enough.  What about disapproval from God?  Isn't He always stern and endlessly disapproving, looking with disdain and disgust down a long nose and a longer finger, always pointing out our fai...

-- Someday I will have read everything ever written by C. S. Lewis.  I am woefully behind on the way to achieving this goal, despite owning a whole shelf full of his books, but it's a work in progress.  However, maybe knowing this will help you understand why my interest was especially sparked by something our pastor shared yesterday. In a sermon about integrity , focused particularly on marriage, he referred to an idea taught by C. S. Lewis that if we could see now what glorious beings believers will become in heaven, we might be tempted to worship them. With this idea in view, the pastor encouraged us to appreciate the privilege we have of watching, up close, the becoming  of our spouses and children. He further encouraged us to be filled with grace toward them as we keep in mind that they are works in progress on the way to future glories unimagined. "However, as it is written:    'No eye has seen,    no ear has heard, no mind ha...

-- I think this was about 1966 in Iowa getting my first riding lesson from my Mommy! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ If I had been a mother before I was a child    Oh what a different child I would have been. I would have gone to sleep at bedtime, no fighting    I would have only called “Mommy,” when I had something to say And I would have limited the number of consecutive “Why’s”    To three instead of three hundred I would have done the dishes without groaning    And I would have cleaned up my room without being asked I would have appreciated you so much more, and    Recognized your sacrifices, and your amazing patience. If I had been a mother before I was a child    I wouldn’t have been the child I was. I wouldn’t have missed the bus so you had to    Walk with me the two miles to school and back I wouldn’t have put off doing my term paper    Until the night before it was due I wouldn’t have tur...

-- My Mama-heart trembles with questions that toss and jumble. I try so hard to make sense of all the conflicting, confounding concerns for my children that clamor for my attention. Which concern takes precedence? Which need is most important? In a world runaway with its own insanity, how do I as a mom, how do we as parents help our kids navigate the mine-fields of their generation's culture wars and the enemy who would love to derail them? It feels like the movie scene that gave me nightmares as a little girl. Snow White, fleeing from the wicked Queen's murderous plot, runs through the creepy dark forest with the tree branches grabbing and grasping at her cloak with evil intent. That is sometimes how I see the world my children go into every day when they walk out our door. Sex, drugs, alcohol, and violence are everywhere from TV to the school yard, packaged in profanity and peer-pressure. Not only that, but ideas, influences, attitudes and ideologies come at them ...