Up the Sunbeam

-- A little more than ten short months ago, I set out toward a cherished dream  to become a teacher, and today I reached the first major milestone on that road. I clicked the SUBMIT button to turn in my final assignment in the final class of my freshman year of college.  I love looking at the row of binders that hold all my textbooks from this year--each one represents a five-week chunk of my life that I spent on the way to achieving my big dream. Stacked up together, they feel solid, substantial, sacred. Not sacred because of their content (although every bit of truth they hold belongs to God), but sacred because this work is all an offering of love, given for God's glory. He is the reason I stay up late to finish papers. He is the reason I fuss over details. And He is the reason I step up to lead team projects with a commitment to excellence instead of letting someone else do it (or not do it) and just get by with minimum effort. Last year, just before I starte...

I wasn't planning to write today, but I am compelled to come out of my extended quiet spell long enough to share a heartfelt moment of brokenness and love . . . and hope. On this bright, glorious Sunday, I did not feel like going to church. I did not feel like offering words of worship or songs of praise. I did not feel like giving or smiling or hugging. Crying or stamping my feet? Maybe! Worship? Not so much. My emotions just would not line up with what I know . . . would not line up with the God I know! Old fears and new developments in our personal economy were warring against the quiet stillness of my trust in God, and it was a raging battle. I had to choose sides--one or the other would have me today and the choice was mine. What I know about God and His character was never shaken--I absolutely know and trust Him to be faithful and loving, kind and compassionate, powerful and present to an infinite degree. But my emotions!!! What loud, bossy, obnoxious things ...