Equal parts photo blog and faith walk, "Up the Sunbeam" exists to highlight moments in time that reveal something of God, His matchless character, His wondrous work, or our privileged interaction with Him. I hope it blesses your heart!
It has been a long while since I have posted anything here. I have been busy completing three years toward my B.A. in English and my senior year is underway. My current class (Creative Writing) has finally given me the space to take off the tight harness of academic writing rules, and it feels SO GOOD!! After reading my first assignment, Mom and Daddy gave it their thumbs up and suggested I make it a blog post, so here it is. It is my story and their story. It's a little longer than my usual posts, but as with everything I have ever posted here, I pray it encourages you to run "up the sunbeam to the sun" (C. S. Lewis). "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1 NIV I sat above them on the stairs. Looking down through the window-like openings in the partition between the living room and the stairway, I listened to the basketball players, football players, baseball players, wrestlers, track athletes, both the lettermen ...
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What I Learned From an Underwater Squirrel
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Blue on blue, aquamarine Bay meets a California summer sky, world-famous San Francisco skyline stitching the seam together. Thousands of people around the globe would give their eye teeth to live as close to this view as I do! And yet, I am caught between worlds, between water and steel, sky and concrete, natural wonders and city marvels.
The city is not my home, not my native habitat. I don't mean San Francisco, but city in general. I am as much a foreigner here as a fish out of water, as much a misfit as an eagle living underground. I have lived in California now longer than all my other homes combined, but I don't think I'll ever feel like I'm from here. Even our quiet spot in the suburbs is more city than I'd like in my heart of hearts.
There are times when I have a lot in common with the SpongeBob SquarePants character, Sandy Cheeks, a Texas squirrel living at the bottom of the ocean:
I'm not from Texas, and I don't have to live in a glass bubble in order to survive, but I suppose I will have to confess to a certain squirrely-ness from time to time--my family reads my blog, so I have to tell the truth right? =) And, if I AM truthful, the constant low thrum of homesickness is something I've lived with a long time, first as a kid from Iowa living in British Columbia, Canada, and for the last 30 years as a country girl living in the San Francisco Bay Area. Yes, I can identify with Sandy Cheeks.
But wait--PLEASE understand--it's NOT that I am discontent! I am unspeakably thankful for my city boy Hero Husband--I believe he's the reason God brought me here and he's the reason I stayed, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat! I am filled with gratitude for the life we have here with the two beautiful, talented children God has blessed us to raise. I am not here against my will--I chose to follow God here and will continue to choose to be here as long as this is where God has our family.
Yes, like Sandy Cheeks, who misses the place she's from but stays in Bikini Bottom by choice, making a joyful life among her ocean friends, I am here by choice, and so I also choose to be joyful here among the people who are only here. I also choose to look for and notice the beauty here, beauty like the view of San Francisco across the glittering blue Bay from the charming little town of Sausalito. Looking at the picture above, you might think it's easy, a no brainer, and that I couldn't possibly have to work very hard to find the beauty in this place, and most of the time you'd be right. But sometimes, when I've been too long away from "home," too long out of the mountains, too long away from fresh, smog-free air, too long confined by city streets and traffic and people who look through you, or worse, uncomfortably invade your space, it can be very hard work.
I have this sneaking suspicion that maybe I'm not the only one who, in some aspect of life, feels sometimes out of place, alien, foreign in the place where God has them. No matter the blessings in "this" place, there are longings for people we miss, for those other, unlike-here places, things we can't have here and now, and it is a dull ache that doesn't ever really go away. Anybody???
In a moment of clarity I notice it . . . Jesus left heaven to live on earth . . . He knows. He truly knows.
If you know that achy corner in a heart both out of place and right where it belongs, I pray that God would fill you up with His Presence, with the hominess that comes from being in the arms of the One that makes His home in us. I pray that He would give you a "Sausalito" view to infuse your homesick heart with beauty that will weave new joy right into the place He has you.
-- "Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked." Psalm 77:18 NIV That sounds terrifying!! With a storm like that I think I would want to run for cover and find a place to get out of the wild winds! Run! Escape! Get away!!! The very next words are these: "Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen." Psalm 77:19 NIV The storm the psalmist was describing in verse 18 was the storm God stirred up to open the Red Sea to deliver His people to freedom! In spite of all that blustering going on, when the people of God saw His storm blowing up a rescue for them, they must have jumped for joy and leaped into action, flags flying, banners raised, excited to walk through on dry ground, following those unseen footprints!! What about the pursuing Egy...
Word became flesh . INCARNATION The Flesh-wearing Word lived and breathed and moved among us, sharing our space-and-time existence, for a span of 33 years. In that mere blink of history, He spanned the chasm between divine love and human desperation. Christmas . . . His coming. We so easily envision His birth, the praising angels, the Joy to the World, the Peace on Earth, the Good Will to Men, shepherds, wise men, drummer boys--the Christmas card comes to life in our mind's eye. But do we rewind a little further, go back to the moment where He took off His glory like a glistening robe and left it hanging on a hook in Heaven's hallway? Do we envision the moment He handed His crown to His Father and said, "Don't worry--I've got this! I'll go!" Do we reckon with the sacrifice it was for Him to limit all that He had always been to the permanent wearing of humanity, just so He could rescue us from the dragon . . . and ourselves . . . and our ugly sin...
-- Up and down the neatly laid out streets of our little Iowa town were big old wonderful houses that stood stately and dignified where they'd stood for decades. Almost all of them were white. Ours was white too, until . . . Daddy painted the front door bright red! What did people think, I wonder? These tried and true traditional Iowans--what did they make of the young basketball coach and his strange door-painting ideas!? Didn't he know the rules? Was he a rebel? Red wasn't even one of the school colors! What did it mean??? To him it meant "pizzazz!" After all it was his favorite color!! It was vivid and bright and positive--all things that he is. The red door was his way of making it OUR house, distinct and memorable. Painting the door red was the smile he put on our house to match the one he always wears! I was 5 and I was delighted! How deliciously scandalous it felt to have that flashy red door on our big whit...
