It has been a long while since I have posted anything here. I have been busy completing three years toward my B.A. in English and my senior year is underway. My current class (Creative Writing) has finally given me the space to take off the tight harness of academic writing rules, and it feels SO GOOD!! After reading my first assignment, Mom and Daddy gave it their thumbs up and suggested I make it a blog post, so here it is. It is my story and their story. It's a little longer than my usual posts, but as with everything I have ever posted here, I pray it encourages you to run "up the sunbeam to the sun" (C. S. Lewis).

"Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1 NIV

I sat above them on the stairs. Looking down through the window-like openings in the partition between the living room and the stairway, I listened to the basketball players, football players, baseball players, wrestlers, track athletes, both the lettermen and the also-…

Thinking About Thinking

I've been doing a lot of thinking  . . . about thinking.

My thinking pours out my doing.

The funny thing is, not all my thoughts are right out in the open and intentional.  Some of them play in the background like some kind of freakish and unwelcome elevator music--you know, the kind where you spend the rest of the day trying to get some dopey song like "Feelings" out of your head (my apologies if there is anyone out there who still likes that song).  I can't quite figure out why it is that the thoughts I purposely think, the beliefs I actively WANT to come to fruition in my life too often fall flat, and this junk under the radar effortlessly becomes my reality.  Paul knew my frustration,when he lamented,

"18b For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  
 19a For what I do is not the good I want to do;"

It always seems like the unintentional thoughts have more power over what I do than the intentional ones.

How much control do I have?

Where does my part begin and end?

Am I as powerless as I feel against the chains that bind me to my weak and broken thoughts?

I certainly don't claim to have all the answers--but despite my human dullness, I know a few important things:

I have control enough to choose to call on the Name of the Lord.

"I will lift up the cup of salvation 
   and call on the name of the LORD."

My part begins eye to eye with my weakness and ends knees-bent before My Father's strength.

"The LORD upholds all who fall 
   and lifts up all who are bowed down."

I am designed and destined and empowered to be more than a conqueror over the clingy flesh that  drags me down.

" . . . in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." 

God's Word is true.  Knowledge of God's Word lights my way.

BUT . . .

Knowledge alone is not enough.
Thinking about what I know is not enough.

"The Bible's goal is not the impartation of INFORMATION, but true INTEGRATION, wherein truth becomes instinct."  Dr. David Eckman, Becoming Who God Intended

When I am soft and yielded to Him, my Holy Spirit Teacher comes and fills me full of God's truth, weaving it into me, completing my threadbare personality according to His design.  He won't be finished until He ushers me in to meet Jesus face to face, but until then, He is working on me, gently untangling the mess of my fragmented and malformed ideas one at a time, releasing me from old chains.

Still thinking about thinking . . .

. . . and praying for His thoughts to free my own.

Do you ever wonder what you're thinking that affects your doing?
How do you conquer thoughts that fly under your radar?


  1. I like this, "Am I as powerless as I feel against the chains that bind me to my weak and broken thoughts?" We need Jesus to redirect our human driven motives into God honoring ones. I like your post!

  2. We really do need His redirection all the time, don't we Kelli?! Thank you so much for taking time to comment!


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