"But If It Dies . . . "

-- A surprise text message broke up the monotone of the workday. Drummer Boy was 4 stories below asking me to meet him there for lunch in an hour. Delighted, I shared the fun surprise with coworkers who "ooohed and aaaahed" over the marvel of an 18 year old son choosing to come hang out with his mother! I beamed. We filled up the 30 minutes of my lunch break with talk of many things. We laughed and shared and caught up on things we haven't had as much time to talk about since I've been working--after all, for all his 18 years, I have been a stay-at-home-mom, ALWAYS there, ALWAYS available. It's not easy to adjust when things have changed from how they've been your whole life! As we got ready to go our separate ways for the afternoon, he spoke very grown up words of gratitude for the sacrifice I'm making to help the family--his description, not mine. He knows that this is a job for the purpose of a paycheck, and that there is no passion inspired by the work itself to make it come from the inside out. He, with his creative spirit, knows how against my grain it goes to do something just for the money and sees that this is work I MUST do "as unto the Lord." He blessed my heart with his recognition that my going to do this job every day is a sacrifice of love. I've been learning about following Jesus' example as a kernel of wheat and His willingness to die in order to produce many seeds.

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24 NIV

This job, a gift from God, (no matter how many secret tears I cried in the car with Him on the way to work the first week), is an opportunity to be a kernel of wheat, to die to myself in order to live love for my family. What I am doing is helping to meet a need, and if I am to be like Jesus, I must choose to love sacrificially. I can never do as much as He did, but I can certainly follow Him in the path of laying my life down in sacrificial love for others. Jesus set the example for me . . . I am living in the middle of a chance to set the example for my son and daughter . . . I wonder who will be inspired by the examples they will set as God gives them opportunities? On my way up the elevator, back to the monotone (and the dear people I work with--they are the part of the job I truly enjoy!), I had a lightness of heart that stayed with me the rest of the day. My love for my family and my love for my Jesus is finding its mark. In dying, I most truly live as Christ lives through me! ^"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galations 2:20 NIV

How are you learning to live by dying? As a kernel of wheat, are you willing to go down into death in order to spring up with seed-producing resurrection life?

P.S. Just in case you're wondering:

1. The picture of Drummer Boy and I was taken by my fabulous photographer friend, Sara Goetz! Thank you Sara!!
2. The cross in the 2nd picture was designed and hand-crafted by my brother, Chad Allen. So proud of you little brother!! You can contact him through his website for purchase information.