Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Year in the Rear View

- Time. Impossible to pin down . . . impossible to hold back . . . impossible to hurry . . . impossible to keep . . . impossible to ever have enough. I can't decide whether to be happy to see 2009 flow away or to savor the last few drops of it--so I choose both. That seems to be the way when I'm grappling with mixed emotions. It is seldom a one-or-the-other conclusion. Today I skimmed through the entries of this year's prayer journal where I have poured out my heart to the God who can handle whatever I bring Him. While it is by no means complete, I read with amazement some of my most intense in-the-moment processing of life through 2009, including the ugly, scary monsters in my closet, the ravenous grizzly bears under my bed, and the just plain old ugly things in my heart I had to show my Father. Even more than these, I got to read the answered prayers, the good and perfect gifts, the unexpected Godlight He shone into my days, and the delighted expressions of gratitude for blessings large and small. I read all the real life snapshots of a year now mostly in the rear view mirror. Looking back gave me a way to look forward, not with trepidation, but with an eager hope. What I saw in that backward glance was that I have many reasons to repent of old ways, and many reasons to walk toward newness of life with the God who was there every moment of the year. He was even there when I was accusing Him of not being as THERE as I wanted Him to be. Amazingly He never gets angry when I fling myself at Him, pounding His chest in a childish fit of frustration with the things that prove beyond my control. As long as I bring it all to Him, He just calmly waits for me to finish casting my cares on Him and then He holds me close and calms me down so I can settle into His grace. With my emotion spent, He can soothe all my upset and I am open for Him to fill me with Him.
"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." (1 Peter 5:7, KJV)
Time is always flowing--2009 is flowing away, it's true. But 2010 will seamlessly flow right in behind it with brand new days to live, brand new opportunities to watch God at work in the details of my little days and nights while I joyously watch for His return. Yes, God really does work in even the tiniest details, like the status updates we post on facebook and twitter. I just discovered a fun little application on facebook that tells you the most-used words in your status updates during the last year. Mine were: today, good, thankful, happy, family, getting, very, praying, exicted, after--or in a more coherent order, Today--good! Happy family getting very excited after praying! :) So as I watch 2009 tumble on down the rapids of the river of time, I am thankful for the profound blessings God has directed my way, and I am humbled by how truly He has been with me when the debris of difficulty has touched my life. I know that I can trust Him in the new year that is on it's way and that the river of time takes me ever closer to Him and the day He will come back in all His splendor!
I hope you enjoy these pictures of one of my favorite places on the planet, the Ashnola River near Keremeos, British Columbia.
How has God shown Himself faithful to you this year? How will you include Him in your celebration tomorrow night?

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