Equal parts photo blog and faith walk, "Up the Sunbeam" exists to highlight moments in time that reveal something of God, His matchless character, His wondrous work, or our privileged interaction with Him. I hope it blesses your heart!
It has been a long while since I have posted anything here. I have been busy completing three years toward my B.A. in English and my senior year is underway. My current class (Creative Writing) has finally given me the space to take off the tight harness of academic writing rules, and it feels SO GOOD!! After reading my first assignment, Mom and Daddy gave it their thumbs up and suggested I make it a blog post, so here it is. It is my story and their story. It's a little longer than my usual posts, but as with everything I have ever posted here, I pray it encourages you to run "up the sunbeam to the sun" (C. S. Lewis). "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1 NIV I sat above them on the stairs. Looking down through the window-like openings in the partition between the living room and the stairway, I listened to the basketball players, football players, baseball players, wrestlers, track athletes, both the lettermen ...
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If I Had Been a Mother Before I Was a Child
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I think this was about 1966 in Iowa getting my first riding lesson from my Mommy!
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If I had been a mother before I was a child
Oh what a different child I would have been.
I would have gone to sleep at bedtime, no fighting
I would have only called “Mommy,” when I had something to say
And I would have limited the number of consecutive “Why’s”
To three instead of three hundred
I would have done the dishes without groaning
And I would have cleaned up my room without being asked
I would have appreciated you so much more, and
Recognized your sacrifices, and your amazing patience.
If I had been a mother before I was a child
I wouldn’t have been the child I was.
I wouldn’t have missed the bus so you had to
Walk with me the two miles to school and back
I wouldn’t have put off doing my term paper
Until the night before it was due
I wouldn’t have turned your hair grey with so many bumps
And bruises and rushed trips to the doctor
I wouldn’t have expected things that others never have
That you gave because you wanted to.
But then again, if I had been a mother before I was a child,
And if I had been so different
I would have taken away the moments when you loved me most,
When you loved me with your life.
At the core of true love is sacrifice, not of yourself
But of selfishness. You were never selfish, Mom.
Now that I’m a mother, I’m learning how much it cost you to
Be the mother you are. “Thank you” isn’t enough, but I’m trying
To love my children the way you have loved me. You know Mom,
They’re glad that I was your child before I was their mother.
I wrote these words for my amazing mother 12 years ago when my kids were 8 and 3 and I was in the midst of a more demanding phase of motherhood. Every dawning morning brought a new realization that being a mom takes all you've got . . . all the time . . . and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
In memories of myself as a child I recall the ways my brothers and I tested my mother's mettle and remember too . . .
. . . her unshakeable grace under pressure, like the time she got the call from my 5th grade teacher telling her I had passed out in his class after falling off the monkey bars--one of a number of trips to the ER to make sure I was in one piece . . .
. . . her deep, deep reservoir of patience, like the night she found out I had left my 6th grade report on Belgium until bedtime the night before it was due--she made it clear that I WOULD turn in that paper ON TIME, WELL-DONE . . . and she would lovingly, without resentment, stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning typing it for me and helping me learn the price of procrastination . . .
. . . and her toughness (when she knew that's what I needed) like the day she made me tough it out and ride in a horse show after badly slamming my thumb in a locked car door. I thought she was completely heartless to make me ride when I felt every heartbeat and hoof-beat like a hammer in my thumb. She stood her ground and made me so mad I found my grit and went out there and rode my very best . . . Okay, FINE! I'll show HER! It didn't occur to me until much later that SHE had shown ME what I was made of!
1981 at my Grad Dance (Prom)
1983 on the trip home from college at Christmas
2005 at our favorite spot on the Ashnola River, British Columbia
Overarching all of her immeasurable investment in mothering her three children, is her abiding commitment to loving God and knowing Him for all she's worth! She consistently studies God's Word and puts it into practice in the laying down of her servant's heart to bless everyone within her sphere of influence. I follow her as she follows Christ!
2010 in Seaside, OR celebrating my parents' 50th Anniversary
I am beyond thankful for all that you are to me Mommy! I continue to learn from you each and every day and I am constantly inspired by the way you walk with God and love people. I still want to be just like you when I grow up!! I love you so much!!
Happy Mother's Day!!
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Joining Ann Voskamp in counting His graces for her Multitudes on Monday
I hope you'll join in if you haven't already!
In the counting of the endless gifts I say with C. S. Lewis,
"This also is Thou!"
#476-490
476. Knowing that our brave military is so outstanding at keeping us safe. 477. Seeing evil dealt with in justice . . . finally. 478. Jehovah Jireh! 479. An offer from a sister-in-Christ to be an alongside one 480. Completing my TENTH year of Bible Study Fellowship and all the women who have blessed my life with their insight and love and true fellowship! 481. Eyes that know enough to close in sleep even if I don't! 482. Recording session with Drummer Boy sans angst! 483. Few words, deep heart and memories of Grandpa Hitchings 484. Kingdom kinship and a friend found in a stranger 485. Lessons learned from horse whisperers and equine teachers 486. Soft hands on the reins and an easy yoke 487. She So Sweet and her *friend* dressed up and looking so nice together 488. Tasting samples at Costco with She So Sweet 489. More wonderful wisdom from my favorite team of teachers!
Word became flesh . INCARNATION The Flesh-wearing Word lived and breathed and moved among us, sharing our space-and-time existence, for a span of 33 years. In that mere blink of history, He spanned the chasm between divine love and human desperation. Christmas . . . His coming. We so easily envision His birth, the praising angels, the Joy to the World, the Peace on Earth, the Good Will to Men, shepherds, wise men, drummer boys--the Christmas card comes to life in our mind's eye. But do we rewind a little further, go back to the moment where He took off His glory like a glistening robe and left it hanging on a hook in Heaven's hallway? Do we envision the moment He handed His crown to His Father and said, "Don't worry--I've got this! I'll go!" Do we reckon with the sacrifice it was for Him to limit all that He had always been to the permanent wearing of humanity, just so He could rescue us from the dragon . . . and ourselves . . . and our ugly sin...
The old fence no longer holds anything in or out . Posts still st a n d where hard-working hands placed them . . . when? I don't know. Most of the wire is gone and with it the memory of who put it there or what treasure it kept safe. What is left is weathered, worn and rusted so heavily the wire looks sculpted rather than twisted together. Long years of exposure to water, air and sun have eaten away at what once was new 'til it is rendered useless, though still dangerous. Rusted iron, corroded metal, brittle wire showing the breakdown of its once shining strength--it speaks. In Eden, everything broke, and the first corrosion began. Things began to fall apart, to waste away. Time became a thief, fear entered stage-left and death stalked us all. Maybe that was when we started trying to hold on to things . . . earth things. Maybe that was when we became grabbers inst ead of givers. Maybe that was when we first fell for fool's gold. "They say that where your...
-- "Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked." Psalm 77:18 NIV That sounds terrifying!! With a storm like that I think I would want to run for cover and find a place to get out of the wild winds! Run! Escape! Get away!!! The very next words are these: "Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen." Psalm 77:19 NIV The storm the psalmist was describing in verse 18 was the storm God stirred up to open the Red Sea to deliver His people to freedom! In spite of all that blustering going on, when the people of God saw His storm blowing up a rescue for them, they must have jumped for joy and leaped into action, flags flying, banners raised, excited to walk through on dry ground, following those unseen footprints!! What about the pursuing Egy...
